Happy Friday, Reader!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all those who celebrate! I still have a kiddo in elementary school, so this week was all about assembling the Valentine cards for classmates – a process we had to do twice due to some executive function challenges at our house. Here’s how that story goes:

We found the perfect Valentines in January. We spent over an hour last weekend assembling them, writing everyone’s names on them, and bagging them up to take to school. No last-minute cramming at our house this year because we were on top of it! Or so I thought.

Then last night, when I asked my child to make sure they were in her backpack, they were nowhere to be found. The whole family searched, and after thoroughly exploring every room of the house, we sadly declared them lost. My husband ventured to the store to see what options were left while I consoled my heartbroken child and helped her gear up to start over.

We could take many lessons from this story, but I share it because it’s a great example of the ADHD tax: the way so many items and activities end up costing more for people with executive function challenges due to loss, mistakes, forgetfulness, or neglect. While buying two sets of Valentines wasn’t a huge expense, these incidents can accumulate to result in a much higher cost of living for those with EF challenges. So what can we do about it?

Tip of the Week: Build Systems to Reduce the ADHD Tax

A big part of the EF coaching work we do centers on building systems to make life a little bit easier. Each system has three parts: a purpose, a routine, and a reflection/maintenance checkpoint. Consider the following examples:

Example #1: Calendar Survey

Purpose: to identify and resolve any conflicts before late cancellation penalties and fees may happen

Routine: Once a week, set aside time to look through the calendar for the next 7-10 days to preview what’s ahead and notice any conflicts. If conflicts are identified, take action to resolve those conflicts (cancel/reschedule appointments, etc.). Having a dedicated time and routine for this work can eliminate some of the surprises throughout the week.

Reflection/Maintenance Checkpoint: At the end of the week, before starting the routine, ask yourself: is everything making its way to the calendar? Is the calendar accurate and up-to-date? Are there any new events that need to be added from emails, newsletters, etc.?

Example #2: The Launch Pad

Purpose: to have a spot to assemble any items that will need to be grabbed before going out of the house

Routine: Designate an area of the house, ideally in a high-traffic area or close to the door, as your launch pad. Anytime you have an item that needs to be taken out of the house (e.g., to school, to extracurriculars, etc.), place it in the launch pad area.

Reflection/Maintenance Checkpoint: Once a week, tidy the launch pad to make sure that everything that’s there is where it should be. Declutter/put away items that are no longer needed in that space. (This was our downfall with the Valentines; the launch pad needed to be decluttered a bit to improve its use.)

Example #3: Use a Budgeting App

Purpose: to review expenses to make sure we’re not paying for services we’re no longer using

Routine: Use a budgeting app (my favorite is YNAB) to track and categorize all expenses. The best ones connect with your bank and credit accounts to import all transactions automatically, so all you have to do is categorize and confirm that it’s part of your budget. I do this every few days – at least once a week – to avoid surprises.

Reflection/Maintenance Checkpoint: At the end of the month, review your budget categories to see if there were any surprise expenses or places you went over budget. Similarly, are you using all the services you’re paying for? Are there some that should be cut? This process can be really eye-opening to see where money is going and cut out some unnecessary expenses.

Mistakes will invariably be made, and it may not be possible to eliminate the ADHD tax entirely, but good systems will help to minimize the costs when these situations happen. What systems have helped you cut back on executive function-related expenses?

Executive Function Elsewhere in the World

Here are a couple of my favorite resources from this week:

• If I could only listen to one EF-related podcast each week, I would probably choose Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting with Dr. Lisa Damour. This week’s episode was all about “How can we roll back our kids’ technology use?” – a topic every parent (myself included) can likely relate to. If you aren’t familiar with Dr. Lisa, I highly recommend everything she does.
• Sharon Saline always produces insightful content, and her recent webinar for ADDitude Magazine was no exception. The topic was “Parenting Resistant Tweens and Teens with ADHD: Getting Buy-In from Your Adolescent.”​

Interested in Executive Function Coaching?

Whether you’re looking for something this spring or hoping to start in the summer or fall, now is the time to book a discovery call and get on our list! Discovery calls are typically 30-minute conversations about what EF coaching entails and what’s happening that has you considering coaching as an option. You will not be pressured to make any decisions or commitments. But we’re already making decisions about scheduling and capacity for the fall, so if you’re interested in exploring this option, resist the urge to procrastinate. You can learn more at our website.

We’re also working on a new lineup of one-day workshops for parents, students, and teachers throughout the summer months. If there is a topic you’d like support with, please drop me a line. We are a mission-oriented and service-driven team that wants to support our community’s educational needs.

Have a great weekend!

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