Happy Friday, Reader!

Last night, my daughter spent hours carefully making Valentine’s Day cards for every single one of her classmates. She was so proud of them.

And then, this morning, she left them on the kitchen counter.

She didn’t realize it until we were pulling into school. She was crushed. I was frustrated — because now we were making a second trip to school to drop off a stack of cards that had been right there by the door. It would have been easy to chalk it up to carelessness or not paying attention. But here’s the thing: she cared deeply about those valentines. She put real time and thought into them. This wasn’t a motivation problem.

It was an executive function gap — the kind of invisible disconnect between intending to do something and following all the way through that trips up bright, capable kids every single day.

I share this because I see it constantly in my work as an executive function coach — and because I want you to know that if your child does things like this, you’re not alone, and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with your kid. Executive functions are the mental skills that help us plan, get started, stay focused, and follow through. Think of them as the brain’s air traffic control system. And the part of the brain responsible for these skills? It doesn’t fully develop until the mid-20s.

Your child isn’t being difficult. Their brain is still building the tools they need.

So what actually helps?

Let me share another quick example from my coaching practice. A middle schooler came to us with a planner she’d picked out herself — a nice one. But her grades didn’t reflect someone who was using it. When we looked more closely, we found the planner on her desk at home. It never made it to school.

A tutor might have said, “Remember to bring your planner.” We asked a different question: Why isn’t this system working?

Once the planner was traveling with her, we tackled the next layer. She’d been writing assignments on the day they were due — “Science project — Friday.” But Friday would arrive, and she hadn’t started, because nothing in her planner told her to work on it on Wednesday.

We practiced one simple shift: when you learn about an assignment, don’t just write when it’s due — write when you’ll work on it.

That one change transformed her planner from a list of deadlines into an actual planning tool. And nobody told her what to write. She learned to ask herself, “What does future-me need to know?”

That’s executive function coaching — not doing the work for your child, but helping them build the skills to manage it on their own.

I just published a comprehensive guide that walks through everything: - What executive functions actually are (and why they matter so much more than we often realize) - What coaching looks like in practice — and how it’s different from tutoring - Signs your child might benefit - What to look for in a coach - Answers to the questions I hear most from parents

👉 Read the full guide: What Is Executive Function Coaching? Everything Parents Need to Know​

Small steps add up.

P.S. If any of this sounds familiar and you’d like to talk it through, I’d love to hear from you. Schedule a free 30-minute discovery call — no pressure, no sales pitch, just a conversation about your child and what they need.

P. P. S. Hit reply and tell me: what’s the one thing about your child’s school habits that puzzles you the most? I read every response.