Happy Friday, Reader!

Things were a little bit quieter at BSL this week as several local school districts had a February break. While my staycation still featured daily visits to the office to support students, sometimes it’s good to have a moment to slow down and catch a breath. Whether this week was a break or business as usual for you and your family, I hope this Friday message finds you well and that you are getting the space you need for self-care.

Tip of the Week: Focus on Your Circle of Control

I often encounter a pattern from students in the early stages of executive function coaching: externalizing blame on others.

“The teacher never said that would be on the test.”

“The teacher never reminded us about that assignment until the day before it was due.”

“Someone moved my stuff, so I couldn’t find it.”

These types of comments can be frustrating for those of us with fully developed prefrontal cortexes because we know there’s probably more to the story, and the student was not as powerless as they want us to believe.

One strategy that can help with this externalization is the “Circle of Control.” To do this exercise, we draw a circle on paper. On the inside of the circle, we write down everything the student can try to control – effort, organization, time management, proactiveness, problem-solving, etc. Anything we can’t control (e.g., the actions of others, the content of a test, etc.) goes outside the circle.

Separating these two categories, we help students see that they can still control many things in any situation. It helps them regain their power in situations that might seem hopeless or overwhelming. We can channel our energy into the things we can control and try to let go of the things we can’t. It may not be a perfect solution, but it helps us escape the cycle of powerlessness that can hold us back.

Even as adults, this strategy can be helpful amid overwhelming news cycles and an inundation of demands. We may not be able to change everything we want in the world, but we can still identify individual actions we can take and do our best to manage ourselves and how we show up in the world.

Executive Function Elsewhere in the World

Here are a few of my favorite resources from this week:

• I often teach students different systems to help them with prioritization, but I liked Ali Abdaal’s YouTube video about the Triage Method this week. It applies medical school principles to our infinite task lists to help manage and prioritize what needs to be done.
• Another insightful YouTube video was Tiago Forte’s example of what a digital reset could look like. I’m constantly trying to improve my relationship with technology, and this was a great example of how you can give yourself a clean slate to adopt new patterns.
• I continue returning to the book Why Will No One Play with Me? The Play Better Plan to Help Children of All Ages Make Friends and Thrive by Caroline Maguire as I work with younger students. Maguire analyzes social skills through an executive functioning lens and provides lessons on how to help young people develop the ability to read social situations that neurotypicals may take for granted. If your child struggles socially, this one is a must-read.

Interested in Executive Function Support?

Whether you’re looking for something this spring or hoping to start in the summer or fall, now is the time to book a discovery call and get on our list! Discovery calls are typically 30-minute conversations about what EF coaching entails and what’s happening that has you considering coaching as an option. You will not be pressured to make any decisions or commitments. But we’re already making decisions about scheduling and capacity for the fall, so if you’re interested in exploring this option, resist the urge to procrastinate. You can learn more at our website.

We’re also working on a new lineup of one-day workshops for parents, students, and teachers throughout the summer months. If there is a topic you’d like support with, please drop me a line. We are a mission-oriented and service-driven team that wants to support our community’s educational needs.

Have a great weekend!

On behalf of the BSL Team

P.S. If this email content is valuable to you, would you please forward it to other parents who might benefit from it? We’re on a mission to build savvy learners who can develop and leverage tools that support executive functioning, and we’d love to connect with more parents. Your support in that endeavor means the world to us.