Alison is an executive function coach, teacher, and mom who has a Ph.D. in Educational Administration and Policy. Her research centered on social media and teacher learning. She spent 15 years teaching in public schools. She now spends her time blogging and working with students, parents, and teachers to use technology responsibly and develop kids' executive function skills.
Why the August systems are wobbling (and why that's good news)
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Happy Friday, Reader! It's been a few months since I last showed up in your inbox. Between a move, a growing team, and a very full fall, Friday Focus took a break. I've missed it, and I'm glad to be back. Let's start with something I've seen a lot in my office lately. 🍂 The October Wobble Remember the August systems? The color-coded folders, the fresh planner, the promise that this year the backpack would stay clean? Two months later, the folders have all turned the same beige. The planner is still there, but it hasn't been opened since Labor Day. The backpack has turned into a mobile trash can. Before you decide the system failed (or your kid did), here's some research I wish more parents knew about. In a well-known study on how habits form, researchers at University College London tracked people trying to build one new daily habit. On average, it took about 66 days for the habit to become automatic. For some people it took less than three weeks. For others, it took more than eight months. School started about 60 days ago. So right now, most kids are in the hardest stretch: the system isn't new and exciting anymore, but it's not automatic yet either. Think of it like a new shortcut across a grassy yard. After a few weeks, you can see the path, but it isn't worn in. Skip it for a few days, and the grass starts to grow back. That doesn't mean the path was a bad idea. It means it needs a few more trips. 🚫 Three common responses that backfire:
🛠️ Try this weekend: the Keep / Tweak / Toss check-in Sit down with your child for 10 minutes, ideally somewhere low-stakes like the car or over a snack. Go through each system and ask:
The key is for your child to do most of the talking. Kids stick with systems they helped design much longer than ones handed to them. Your job is to ask the questions, not to give the answers. Bonus move: turn each tweak into a "when-then" plan. "When I drop my backpack after school, then I open my planner." Tying a new behavior to something that already happens is one of the best-supported strategies in behavior research. It works because the cue holds the remembering, so your child doesn't have to. 📅 Save the Date: The Semester ResetThis is exactly what I'm teaching at my next free live workshop: The Semester Reset: 3 Systems That Actually Stick We'll look at why systems slip in the fall, and how to rebuild a few that last, with your kid owning more of the work. I'll show what each system looks like for a 4th grader, a 7th grader, and a 10th grader. The workshop runs inside Building Savvy Parents, my new online community for parents who want executive function support at home. It's free to try, and doors open Monday, October 12. 👉 Get a reminder when doors open:buildingsavvylearners.kit.com/effocus Have a great weekend! P.S. If this was helpful, would you forward it to a parent who's in the October wobble right now? Sometimes just knowing it's normal at the two-month mark makes the next conversation at home a lot easier. 💛 |
Alison Eber, Ph.D.
Alison is an executive function coach, teacher, and mom who has a Ph.D. in Educational Administration and Policy. Her research centered on social media and teacher learning. She spent 15 years teaching in public schools. She now spends her time blogging and working with students, parents, and teachers to use technology responsibly and develop kids' executive function skills.
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